Shrieking Shack of secrets
by Lonely-Slayer
Summary: Three stories, three authors, all about Harry, Ron and Snape in the shrieking shack!
1. Chapter 1

Me and my friends got together and decided to each write a fanfic about Harry, Ron and Snape in the shrieking shack. Since we don't all have accounts each chapter will be a different story. I have no idea how I came up with this story, sleepless sugar buzzed nights will do that to ya!

Disclaimer: My friends and I do not own Harry potter or any of the characters blah blah blah now on with the show!

Shrieking shack of secrets

By: Lonely-Slayer

Harry opened his eyes to find he was no longer in the Gryffindor common room. He wasn't sure where exactly he was, but the sound of howling wind and creaking wood gave him a hint. Harry gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the dark before coming to the conclusion that he was in the shrieking shack. Ron meanwhile was unconscious on the previously collapsed bed.

Harry: Wake up, Ron.

Harry jabbed Ron in the side with his elbow.

Ron: Ow!

Ron sat up and received a long hard stare from Harry.

Ron: What?

Harry: This is the last time I do a teleportation project with you!

Ron: It's not my fault! It's this hand-me-down wand! I'm just glad Bill uses the same kind of wand as me...at least I think he dose...

Harry: that spell must have knocked us out.

Ron: I wonder how long we were out for.

Snape: Two hours after curfew!

Snape was standing in the door way, arms crossed, a fowl expression on his face.

Ron: Eeep!

Harry: Professor Snape what are you doing here?

Snape: The hokey pokey!

Harry: What?

Ron: Really!

Snape: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer, potter! Now back to the castle! I'm sure the head mistress will be pleased to hear about this!

Ron: No! Not Umbridge! Anything but Umbridge!

Snape: Yes Umbridge!

Ron spun around, fell to his knees, latched his arms around Harry's waist and wept like a young child.

Ron: We're doomed! Doomed you hear! Doomed! Umbridge'll kill us!

Harry: Ron...

Ron: Boo hoo hoo!

Harry: Ron, get your head out of my crotch and look at me!

Snape was amused, disturbed and slightly aroused by this.

Harry: Umbridge is nothing! We've been through worse!

Ron, feeling inspired by Harry's words, stood up.

Ron: Yeah, you're right! We've been through more than most can imagine!

Harry: Exactly!

Ron: I'm with you, Harry!

Harry: Yeah!

Ron: No matter what happens our love will prevail!

Harry: What?

Ron held Harry's hand

Ron: We'll make it through... together!

Harry: What!

Ron: Nothing can break the bonds of our love!

Harry: Wait a minuet! I'm not like... that's not what I...

Ron: And what exactly are you laughing at!

Snape: What (snicker) me? I'm not laughing (snort)!

Ron: You so are! And you're blushing!

Snape immediately stopped laughing and made a feeble attempt to cover his face.

Snape: I'm not blushing its just cold in here.

Ron: Then how come it's only showed up now and why are you trying to cover it up? I think you're hiding something! Harry, he's hiding something from us!

Snape: I'm not!

Harry didn't say anything, seeing how he was just as red.

Ron: Judging by your denial it must be something truly scandalous! Something you wouldn't want anyone to know about! Even your best friend would cringe if you told them! It must be something around the lines of...

Snape: ALRIGHT ALREADY! I'M GAY! HAPPY NOW!

Ron: ...Really?

Snape: yes.

Harry: That was very... unexpected. I mean Snape gay?

Ron: I know I always expected Neville or Malfoy, but you professor?

Snape: Enough! How'd you get here?

Harry: You can thank dorky McDoofus and his crud wand over here!

Ron: (not listening) I still can't believe you're gay! How many boyfriends have you had?

Snape: My love life is none of your business, Mr. Weasly!

Ron: That many huh...

Snape: This has gone on long enough! Back to the castle!

Ron: You can't!

Snape: Oh, and why not?

Ron: Cause...cause...cause if you do we'll tell everyone you're gay!

Snape: Black mail! Why you spineless twerp! You're lucky I can't use a memory charm on you!

Harry: Why not?

Snape: Ever since that Lockheart incident we're no longer allowed to use memory charms on other wizards and witches unless we have permission!

Harry: Well, now what are we going to do?

Snape: Wait!

Ron: For what?

Snape: Morning. That way it will be easier to sneak back in to the castle.

The three sat down on the bad and waited... in silence.

Ron: What time is it?

Snape: How would I know?

Ron: when you first came in you said that It was two hors after curfew!

Snape: I checked the time before I left.

Ron: Oh. (Sigh)

Snape awoke early the next morning. The sun had not yet risen. He attempted to sit up only to find Harry and Ron had, during the night, wrapped their arms around his waist as if he was a giant teddy bear. Snape smiled, this was okay with him... so long as they never mentioned it again.

END

LS: This is my first HP fanfic. It was just a silly and fun thing I wanted to do with my friends. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. (Please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes I might have made.)


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note

I was on crack when I wrote this!

Uh oh!

By: Aiyana Centauri

Severus Snape was a naughty little brat. He sneaked out of the school in the middle of the night and went over to the Shrieking Shack to have some fun. When he got there, he saw light in one of the rooms. Suppressing a fiendish giggle, he picked into the door of the master bedroom. Moments later his look of devilish glee was replaced with look of abject horror, shock, and a bizarre tinge of green. He had seen something more naughty than he, and my, oh my, was it NAUGHTY! With a loud gasp, he passed out because he is a sissy.

Meanwhile, inside the master bedroom, Ron and Harry both looked up at the thump and saw their despicable potions teacher curled in a fetal position in front of the doorway, unconscious and drowning in his own nosebleed. Ron blinked.

'Bloody hell... What if he tells someone, Harry?'

Harry frowned. 'Phark. We've been found out. Guess we'll have to stop this game...'

Ron blinked and snarled. 'WE CAN'T QUIT! YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER GIVE UP! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, HARRY!'

Harry sighed. 'I know Ron, and I'm sorry. But we were bound to be found out eventually, I guess. Can you imagine what will happen when everyone at school finds out about... this? We'll be made fools of. People will curse us, and put pudding in our hair. It'll be absolutely horrid... I can't stand the idea of anyone knowing I'm... That I...'

'It's nothing to be ashamed of, Harry. It's perfectly natural. Besides, you KNOW everyone else is curious... Everyone wants to know what it's all about...' He smirked. 'Besides, what will you do about the evidence?'

'Evidence...? Oh. My. God. Please tell you don't mean...' Harry paled.

'Yes, Harry. The pictures. I kept them. If you try and back out on me, I swear, everyone in all of the wizarding community is going to know that the great Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is...'

'NO! You can't... You wouldn't...' Harry looked at him with pleading eyes.

'I can, and I will. Tomorrow at dawn, if you try and back out, every wizard will have the proof. Everyone in the world will know... Harry Potter plays Pokemon.'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Harry's scream was heard all the way in Hogsmeade, in the castle, even all the way to number 4 Privet Drive. More than one confused person in Hogwarts woke, wondering if it were all a dream, before rolling over and going back to sleep. And Harry, of course, never, EVER, stopped playing Pokemon.

Oh, what happened to Snape? He woke up and joined their nightly Pokemon games!


	3. Chapter 3

Playmates

Written by Julie Lefebvre

He suspiciously stepped near the rickety staircase, the old wooden walls of the Shrieking Shack creaking under the light shifts in the earth. Strange sounds came from one of the many chambers in mysterious shack, his dark eyes narrowing and his long black hair falling into his pale face. Skillfully, he reached into his robe to pull out his wand, taking a cautious step up.

The whole house creaked unsteadily; wind blowing crimson and gold leaves over the wide valley outside the cobweb covered windows.

The strange noises continued, his eyes flickering dangerously as he braced himself against the wall and took another step, the wooden stair case groaning under his weight.

Quickly, he practically run up the steps, the entire shack creaking as it shifted uneasily in the wind, bizarre cries coming from behind one of the doors, the paint chipped and corners ridden with spider webs. He pressed one ear to the door, listening attentively as the wind settled outside the unstable shack, his dark eyes suddenly widening and his jaw growing slack.

"Oh-oh-OH!" was the odd sound from behind the door, the magical wand dropping to the floor and tumbling down the steps, one hand quickly snapping over his mouth.

He cursed his own clumsiness, ducking quickly to step down and retrieve the instrument, his eye finding a hole in a in a lock in the door. His dark eyes widened, two male students; the famous Mr. Potter awkwardly bent over the back of the red haired Mr. Weasely. His jaw grew slack, blood as bright as crimson dribbling from inside of his pointed nose, one sleeve quickly used to wipe the dribble away. "Get the wand, get the students, get out." He said to himself repeatedly stumbling over the steps and snatching the wand from the wooden floorboards.

He flopped helplessly against the bottom step, his eyes wide as his heart throbbed in his old chest, almost quick enough to sprout wings and fly out of his throat. The shouts of what seemed to be pleasure continued up the stairs, his old hands fumbling to place the wand into his robe as he stood up and daringly walked back up the steps.

The door suddenly flew open, the ominous looking Professor Snape standing in the open door with a rather confused expression on his pale face.

They all looked up, four pairs of guilty eyesstaring up at him as he stared at the strange sight before him. "Professor Snape!" Ron Weasely squeaked nervously, both boys toppling over onto a white sheet spread out over the floor boards. He stared at the familiar faces, bleach-blond Draco Malfoy inching away from the camera mounted expertly on a three legged stand, whistling inconspicuously as Mrs. Hermione Granger quickly pulled her skirt down to her knees.

"what in all the…" he stammered, both Hermione and Ron blushing a brilliant crimson as Harry Potter stared up at him with his bright green eyes.

They had been caught, oh so dreadfully caught that the guilty innocence shone in their wide eyes. Snape stared around the room, clumsily sewn curtains drawn over the stingy windows to block out any prying seers. Then he spotted it, the square card tucked behind Ms. Granger's well defined rump, a bright red arrow pointing to a picture and something red.

"We're doomed." Ron said grimly, his eyes wide as he laid across a row of large green spots, the professor staring stupidly.

"Shut up Weasely." Malfoy said smartly, though his eyes showed no real attitude.

"Is that Twister you're sitting upon?" He said slowly, Harry nodding slowly.

"Oh."

He looked around blankly, all four holding their breaths as he turned to stare at them. "The Shrieking Shack is off limits to unsupervised students." He said slowly, regaining his wits. "I'll have to…report you to…"

"Is something wrong Professor?" Hermione said softly, her eyes wide and guilty.

He mumbled something incoherently as he turned and left, half tripping down the rickety steps and stumbling out the door. A huge sigh of relief came from the lot of them, Harry hanging his head as a sneaky smile appeared on his face.

"Eh Malfoy," He said slyly, his dark layers mussed and tumbling around his handsome face, "that was close."

"You got that right." He said, the sneaky smiles appearing on all their faces.

"Bloody hell." Ron blurted, sitting up properly, Harry crawling toward him on all fours. "Where were we?" He said smartly, his green eyes twinkling mischievously as Ron looked up, his eyes huge.

"Do I have to?" His voice squeaked, Hermione giggling as she tossed the spinner card aside and shook out her hair.

"Oh yeah." His voice deepened, Ron gulping nervously as Malfoy snuck skillfully toward the camera, his blond layers falling into his face as he grinned.

"Bloody hermph." His eyes snapped shut. Harry's warm lips pressed against his as he began to sink back against the white sheet with the wide, red yellow, green and blue dots all placed by colour in a row.

"You think we could get some ladies in 'ere later?" Malfoy said, Harry frustratedly looking up through a curtain of dark layers, Ron's hands pinned skillfully against the floor beside him.

"Just take the pictures." He snorted, Ron still staring wide eyed as Harry looked down at him and smiled. " 'Ello love."

He whimpered pathetically, braced helplessly in his vulnerable position against the floor.

Professor Snape stumbled stupidly toward Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry, confusedly scratching his head and looking back at the bleak wooden cabin still standing in the middle of the field.

The End

Author's Note

Okay, here we go; the long list of things that instinctively, one would say is ultimately a big mistake.

Draco and Hermione would most likely KILL each other before partaking in a twisted adventure together.

Snape isn't in fact as stupid and clumsy as he is portrayed, if anyone has been offended. I apologized profusely.

Draco probably doesn't even know how to use a camera; he probably would get his slaves to do it for him. (Me: Hmm…sounds like Dilly)

A teacher would probably haul their asses out of the Shrieking Shack, but as this is a piece of fiction anything can happen- including Draco and Hermione being civil to each other in one room for a brief period. And…

A twister card thingamagigger could not be easily hidden behind, under or in Hermione's bum. It's just not possible.

Lastly, I do not own any of the characters from the Harry Potter series, and no one was hurt in the making of this fanfic- except for maybe Snape's eyes and Ron's ego.


End file.
